Relatives! Whats that?!

I know dear blog, I am going to bore you to death by my endless planning and wedding news but please bear with me, its once in a lifetime event. And, I don't know if I have told you - I am a very wedding person, which means since childhood, all I wanted in life was to get married. When I was about 8, it was my younger Mamu (mommy's brother) who got married. How happy I was, I still remember, so many relatives came to my Daddy Ji's (mommy's father) house. We had a huge drawing room and everyone would come, dress pretty, sing songs, dance, eat loads and sleep giggling. I LOVED it, immensely and thought that my wedding would also be such. But to my huge surprise and slight disappointment, we don't have enough relatives and whatever few we have, would have to be coaxed into singing and dancing and would definitely prefer privacy of rooms to sleep and not some common living room type of arrangement.

Last month, when I and mommy sat down to list the close relatives we have, we could count them on our fingers. Only 4 families of 4 people each and my grandmom. That's about it. What to do dear blog, both my mom and dad are 3 siblings each and thus even if I want a house full of 100 people, I can't get. I will still manage with the fewer number of mamu, mami, chachu, chachi and young cousins that I have but what will happen in my next generation. In the wake of country running its population control agenda and families increasingly adopting the 1 child norm, there would be no relatives to invite for the weddings. The girl/boy whoever is getting married will be the sole person to sing, dance and be jolly. Damn! the new ways of life!

It is not just the number of relatives which has decreased, there is a whole lot of other changes which I see. Everything is so planned and systematic. You can't just put on the music and start dancing, lest it may disturb the neighbors; there will be a time and place for everything. There won't be sweets which the trademarks halwai used to make, there will indeed be packed and decorated boxes from one of the known sweet shops. There wont be cousins younger or older, clicking pictures in the way and manner they like, but professional photographers giving tips on candid moments. Don't mistake me dear blog, I am very keen on all of this, I just wish I had few more relatives - masis, buas to indulge me a little more. Oh! the greedy me! :D

The Walled City

Did I tell you dear blog, with getting engaged there are a lot of exciting things that happen to you. And of all those exciting things, the best is that you get to shop as much as you want. No one, gives you the you-better-stop-this-shopping-business looks, in fact on the contrary, you are encouraged to buy more and more! Today in this endeavor I, mommy and aunty (mom's friend) went to Chandni Chowk - the walled city. I had heard so much about its cloth market that I had to go. We reached and were almost taken aback by the swarm of people shoving, pushing each other to take us to their shop. I don't know, how they knew that we were out there to look for sarees and suits. We managed to get our way through and went to this one shop recommended by mom's friend. We bought some stuff and hurriedly rushed towards the famed "Paranthe wali gali" It wasn't difficult to reach there but what was really difficult was to get a table oops chair to yourself where one could sit and eat. Once there, you don't have a choice, the guy coordinating for the people in queue told us to take the last corner bench and with us, he sent a family of three to occupy the bench in front of us and as you can imagine, the 6 of us were to share the table. It was slightly weird to share a table with an unknown family, to overhear food time conversations of a family while genuinely trying not to intrude. All six of us, occasionally smiled at each other while trying to figure out what to order from at least 20 varieties of paranthas. We ordered for an eclectic mix of paranthas and they ordered theirs, traditional, tried and tested. Paranthas were delightful and we almost forgot the setting we were in. We paid to the same guy who had arranged for the bench for us and then tracked our way back to the metro station. Enroute, I saw a Kulfiwala and decided to have that too. The kulfi was lip smacking and happily we came back. It was once I reached near Mayur Vihar that I realized I was in Walled City for I could only recollect the huge walls which surrounded us from every corner. Oh the old charm of my city! :)

Happy Times!

Dear blog, its been quite some time since I last wrote to you. A lot of stuff in my life has changed, I want to tell you all of it but that would be long and you may not appreciate everything. So I will try and squeeze the major things in this post.

First things first, I got engaged! Yayy! And the very lucky guy who got engaged to me is AD. I have known AD now for almost 8 months and he is as good as someone can get. Humble, caring, loving, possessive, responsible, funny, passionate, charming..  the list goes on and as you can rightly guess, I am absolutely smitten by him. Our story is a story quite filmy and how can I not elaborate on it.

Like all parents, my mommy and daddy cool were relentlessly trying to find a good boy for me. And in this pursuit of theirs, I met AD, it was this Sunday in August, we met at CCD and then he came to my place. He came across as a decent, nice guy but then you know marriage is marriage and I just could not think of saying yes to him in first go. He took me for dinner the next day (with due permission from our respective parents) and said YES! I was in such a soup, how could I agree to marry a guy whom I have met for a sum total of 3 hours if not lesser. So I applied my golden rule, when in doubt say NO! I did, but coyly, also put a remark that I want to know him better. That was the beginning and from the total of 3 hours to a total of 300 hours was touched in no time. Long endless phone calls, full day dates (occasionally, since he is Bangalore), sharing everything, knowing each other in and out. We became best friends of sorts. He was in love with me and I knew it very well. I just didn't know that I was in love too. It took me 5 months to realize that I am in love too. The realization dawned and then there was no looking back. We told our parents who were still on look out for us. They heaved a sigh of relief, smiled, hugged and blessed us. 

Its been a roller coaster since then, all our time goes in either chit chatting or planning when we will meet next. He has let go off his running, football and I have let go off my writing and reading but I guess its ok. And its ok because we are happy where we are, we are happy with each other and we are content in the way our days pass by. It is a beautiful feeling dear blog to be in love, to be loved, truly and unconditionally.

Honey, get the money!

I went to a very renowned eye clinic today - (Center for Sight, Safdarjung Development Enclave), after having procrastinating for an year and guess what would have happened. No no, my car didn't break down, I didn't get stuck in a traffic jam, I didn't forget to carry my eye reports BUT BUT BUT I forgot to carry money. I didn't care much, because I had gone with dad so anyway I am not supposed to spend when I am with him. But what if I tell you that he had just 500 bucks in his pocket and we figured out that we had to pay Rs 3500 to the doctor for a battery of tests and consultation. We thought and thought a little more, we were carrying no cards - debit/credit, there was a Bank holiday and we practically knew no one in that area.

What could we have possible done, let go off the appointment, go back home and come back later. I and dad cursed ourselves for at least 10 minutes when I decided to request, just in case. I went straight to the person at the billing counter and checked with him in case internet transfer is possible, he said, it wasn't. I told him our embarrassing situation, he said he will connect me to someone who can take a call. So, I was handed over to the manager of the clinic, she really didn't know what to say and apologetically told me it wasn't possible. She paved way for me to go and request to the CEO. Yes, yes the chain has a CEO and all that. So I meet the distinguished Dr Alka Sachdev, she was appalled and asked if this was a pre planned visit, I said yes and then looking towards my dad said "You are her father". She almost said it through her eyes, "How can you guys not carry money". She asked me some hypothetical questions about what would we have done, if our car would have broke down and so on. I wanted to say, would have requested the same way we are requesting now. Anyway, finally she said Dr Mahipal Sachdev (the doctor I had to consult and her husband) will not be available post 3 so we can't really go and come back. She also said it wasn't possible to start my testing till the time a receipt number is entered in the system. We almost felt dejected and thought that the day was wasted. Tomorrow and day after the center was closed so I was particularly sad as I didn't know when I could visit him next. Dr Alka Sachdev, saw our disappointed faces and offered help; she would pay for me for a couple of hours, testing could start and dad could get the money. We were elated and thanked her profusely.

Today, I felt for the first time how difficult life can be without money. It is just so difficult to explain why you would't have money or why you would pay back whatever amount is lent. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you need money. People will tell you politely or harshly, but they will tell you - honey, get the money!

Ummm.. I am happy dear blog. You know being content and at peace. It is a blessing to feel the way I am feeling right now. Nothing bothers me for long and mostly I smile.

I haven't read in a while, neither have I seen any movie nor I have been regular with you but I am sure you understand.

The only two constants in life being winters and work :) :(

More later
Love.

Home alone :|

I have been missing you dear blog and you know that right. Yes, I am slightly selfish and so without giving you any updates, without wishing you new year and without telling you where I have been, I will start to write about how I am feeling right now. But, trust me, we will do the pleasantries later, for now, I am feeling lonely and I need you to just hear me out. Will you?

Mom dad have gone to Mumbai this Saturday as my grand mom isn't well. They asked me many times over, if I will be able to manage, I chuckled and said "of course, I am a BIG girl" which technically is correct. But one day later, I almost sobbed with anxiety. Can you beat that? Believe you me, dear blog, age has absolutely nothing to do with being able to manage alone at home, trust me, nothing. I am as vulnerable and cranky, as I was when I was 5.

I don't watch TV but just to be on a safer side, I came back from work and switched on the TV, I struggled for at least 10 minutes before I could see anything whatsoever. My TATA Sky TV behaved like those yesteryear's Doordarshan which used to take a break after every 5 minutes of entertainment. Then, I rushed to turn on all the lights but any points for guessing that the first tubelight I laid my hands on, just kept flickering and I gasped with fear. Thank God, for AD was on call all this while, trying to soothe my nerves and make me smile. He insisted that I drink a glass of water and first have my dinner. I did, as he said but had no appetite or inclination. (Oh! did I mention AD by chance :))

Today, three days later, I am as worse as I can get. I can't sleep, neither can I wake up. I don't want to eat food neither do I want to watch TV. I only know, that I hate being home alone. 

I haven't kept in touch dear blog and for obvious reasons. I hate it when there is so much negativity around. A girl was gang raped, almost killed and thrown out of a moving bus; the furore around is only a testimony that even the most apathetic are moved. Such sad are the state of affairs that I can't even get myself to express my views on the subject.

To call this a rape case will be undermining the the nature of the ghastly act that it was. Words fail me and all I can say that the fiber with which a man was defined has been eroded. The gruesome, horrific and barbaric act demands nothing but punishment which befits the act. The punishment now has to act as a deterrent which thus far has never happened. The kids which grow up today need to respect and value a woman and not treat her as an object of desire.

My prayers go out for the battling soul and for the family which faces deep anguish. My heart shudders to think of all the times, when I traveled alone or with a friend thinking that I am safe, that I am appropriately dressed, that there is Police and other citizens at guard, that I can scream and ask for help just in case..

You know dear blog, whilst a lot of us read, write, protest, boil with anger, no one, absolutely NO ONE can empathize. It is all but natural to read about someone else who has been through a tragedy and feel the agony. A rape or a murder or whatsoever else, our mind is conditioned in a way to think that it is a newspaper story or at the max, it can happen only with some one else and not with me or any one related to me. But it does, every single day, it happens with some one, some one whom I may know through a common friend or an old school or would have crossed in a mall.

I can see palpable tension around in the eyes of the people who care for me. My worried parents couldn't take their mind off me when my flight to Mumbai got delayed for a couple of hours, my friends who asked me to swear that never again, I am going to ask a passerby to behave in public, my colleagues at work who try and ensure that I reach home safely every day. What has life come to, it is dictated by diktats and I can't even raise a voice for I happen to be born a girl and all said & done, I want to lead a scar free, long healthy life.